Calling All People Pleasers!
If you’re reading this, there’s a good chance you’re tired. Not just physically, but mentally and emotionally worn down from trying to keep everyone around you happy. You say yes when your whole body is screaming no. You stretch yourself thin, believing that if everyone else is okay, then you’ll finally be okay too. But here’s the hard truth: no matter how much you give, you can’t fill the needs of others without depleting yourself.
Sound familiar?
People-pleasing often starts small. Maybe it’s wanting to avoid conflict, keep the peace, or feel accepted. Over time, though, it can grow into something much bigger—a constant cycle of self-sacrifice, where your own needs are pushed aside. And the cost? Your well-being, your dreams, and sometimes even your sense of self. The good news is, it doesn’t have to stay that way. The way out? Boundaries.
Boundaries Are Bridges. Not Barriers.
We’ve all heard it—setting boundaries can feel selfish. There’s a voice in our heads that says, “If I say no, they’ll think I don’t care.” But here’s the thing: boundaries are the ultimate act of love, both for yourself and for others. They aren’t walls meant to shut people out; they’re bridges that help you show up as your whole self in relationships. Boundaries are how we teach others what respect looks like.
And let’s be honest, respect is something we all want and deserve.
When you set boundaries, you’re saying, “I matter, too.” It’s not about pushing others away; it’s about making sure you have the space to be you. To live in a way that honors your energy, your needs, and your sense of worth. When we show up this way we are able to be authentic, and when we’re authentic we are able to connect deeply with others.
Why It’s Time to Take Your Power Back
Imagine waking up every day not feeling weighed down by the expectations of others. Imagine not having to guess what someone else needs from you or bending over backward to meet those needs. Picture yourself living life with a sense of freedom and confidence, where your decisions come from a place of joy, not fear or obligation.
The truth is, reclaiming your life starts with a single step: one boundary. And it doesn’t have to be a grand overhaul. Start small. Maybe it’s saying no to something you don’t have the bandwidth for. Or maybe it’s simply speaking up when something doesn’t sit right with you. Little by little, you’ll begin to notice how those small shifts create a ripple effect. Your energy will start to shift, your relationships will feel lighter, and most importantly, you’ll feel more grounded in who you are.
Start Where You Are
If the idea of setting boundaries makes you uncomfortable, you’re not alone. It’s tough, especially if you’re used to putting everyone else first. But here’s what I know for sure: the people who love you will adjust. They’ll learn to respect the boundaries you set because they’ll see how much better it is for everyone when you’re taking care of yourself.
Growth is uncomfortable, but nothing changes if nothing changes.
Your Life. Your Rules.
You’ve given enough. You’ve worked hard enough to prove yourself. Now it’s time to honor yourself. Boundaries aren’t just about saying no—they’re about saying yes to yourself, your joy, your peace. Reclaiming your life isn’t about just taking back your time; it’s about reclaiming your power.
So, what’s one boundary you can set today? One small shift that could change everything?
-Rebecca Kline, LMFT-Associate
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